


Soon

by ScifiSOS



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Sorry no fluff for you, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4827287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScifiSOS/pseuds/ScifiSOS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She did her best, she just needed to give him something so he could remember that she loves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soon

**Author's Note:**

> Someone stop my solavallen feels. I can’t stop writing sad crap for them. I need something happy. :U 
> 
> Please ignore all my ridiculous theores, because they aren’t really theories. They are just tools to get all these feels out of me :U. If it’s vague, its cuse I just want the feels. I did try :U feel free to skip it if it makes your head hurts pfft.
> 
> Also, I guess its fluffy solavallen day.
> 
> :U So I apologize for the lack of fluff. I’ll…try? Pfft Trespasser gave me the tragic feels.

Three years, it’s been three years.

She’s done her best these past three years.

\----------

The first year, she tried chasing him. However, with the Eluvians under his control it proved futile. It broke her heart. Her mind had filled with doubts, insecurities, and pain. Didn’t he miss her _as much_ as she missed him? She almost felt hate for him. Yet every time he visited her dreams all she could do is beg him to come back. To reconsider. To prove that this world was worth living in too. That they could find another way, together. There were times when she was cruel, to him, to herself. She would show him what could be. What she wanted with him so badly.

She would reach for him, searching for comfort, but he would be gone.

Then one day, he stopped showing.

After that, she didn’t sleep for a weeks. Nightmares plagued her sleep, concerns and worries. She was always tired. She couldn’t eat, she grew weak and thin. Her old advisers grew worried for her. Her old companions tried to help her, but they would dance around the person they really wanted to talk about. One day, Cullen had visited.

\--------------

_The former Commander caught her as she swayed. ‘You need rest, Ghewen.”_

_She chuckled. “I think that is the first time I’ve heard you say my name.” She said, pulling away and leaning against the wall. She just needs the world to stop spinning. “How are you doing Cullen? The last time I heard, you were helping Templars in need. I’m surprised you visited.”_

_She looks straight into his eyes, she just needed to seem like she was fine. That it was just a passing dizzy spell._

_Yet he raised a hand towards her cheek, and all she could think of is when she last saw him. Sorrow, he was the cause of all of this – but I still love him._

_She flinches away._

_Cullen dropped his hand. “You can’t even move on can you?” He asked softly. “Ghewen, he’s planning to destroy the world. How can you still love him?”_

_She swallows, looks down. “I am sorry, Cullen.”_

_“I know.” Cullen sighs, runs a hand through his hair. He takes a step back “I could try, try to help you. Show you I could give you more- give you happiness. Show you, I’ve always been there. I lo-“Another sigh. “I know that you would try, but you would only do it to make me happy. To distract you from how you feel right now.”_

_She closes her eyes. “I am sorry.”_

_“I know.” Silence. She opened her eyes and moved away from the wall. It has passed._

_“How do you expect to change anything the way you are now?”_

_She blinked. That face was familiar; he is talking to her as if she is one of his recruits. He has never addressed her like this. “Excuse me?”_

_“You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, and you haven’t trained for weeks. You haven’t even practiced your ‘amazing magic arm blade’. If worst comes to worst, are you going to be able to get through every single enemy until you can confront him again?”_

_She straightened her posture, her face stern. “I am fine.”_

_“You are not. You are so far from fine that I am certain you’re a danger to yourself.” He gripped her arm roughly. She tried to push him off her. “I’m not even using as much strength as I used to. We have sparred, I’v seen what you’re capable of. How do you expect to confront him? Even if you don’t fight him, how are you going to have the strength to save him? To save the world?”_

_She slumped. She could feel tears building up. “I can’t. Cullen, I never wanted any of this.”_

_“I know.” He gently pulled her into his arms. She stiffened, yet his touch is so gentle and warm. She let out a sob._

_“I am so tired Cullen.”_

_“I know,” He held her tightened. “You’ve helped me, you’ve helped all of us. Let us help you. Let us care for you. Together, we can save Solas.”_

_“We aren’t even together anymore.”_

_“That’s the funny thing about friendship; it can endure even if we’re worlds apart.”_

_ Solas! Var lath vir suledin! _

_She sighed and relaxed into Cullen’s arms. “You’re right,” she admits._

_They are silent for a few more moments. Then she mumbles. “You know without all that fluff and armor, you are actually very huggable.”_

_\--------------_

She worked on herself, bettered herself. She could now create a makeshift spirit blade on her limb. Though she was also able to extend it, make it like a whip.

She grew stronger, sleep still eluded her most of the time. She took as many hours as she could. Sometimes, she swears she sees him in her dreams again. Instead of talking to him, she ignored him.

She gained an understanding to why he left her behind. It was harder to focus when what you really want is right in front of you.

She planned, moved out all the agents who still wished to serve and have them find as many ancient texts as possible. Not all of it Elven. There had to be some truth out there somewhere. She contacted nobles, mages, Templars, scholars, and more. She got many refusals, but she also got approvals.

She tried to prepare people, warn people, though not all had listen. Yet those who had promised to share what they have learned. Ghewen knew more people would be willing to learn, once the veil is torn down. She tried to make new contacts, new alliances, in hopes of preparing a military that could at least try to survive the Evanuris. Because when they escaped, they will burn the world in their wrath. Especially if Solas… **no** he won’t fail. He would see what’s she has done and find a way to protect her, protect their new world.

She received messages from all over Thedas. She requested the College of Magi and the Circle for help. Vivienne, of course, gave what help she could. The College, reluctant, but sent some Tranquil who could help.

They spent hours researching, trying to understand the old world. The second year passed quickly.

\----------

_“I see you are doing well.”_

_She jerked up from her paperwork, a wide smile on her face. She got up and gave Cullen a hug. “I wasn’t expecting you until next season!”_

_He gave a hearty laugh, an arm wrapping around her waist. “I figure you would miss me. How are you doing?”_

_“I am fine, and I mean it this time.” She moved away and walked to her desk. “You should read some of these texts; it is amazing how much you learn.” She pushed some papers to the side, trying to find one. “Like this one! It is from the early Chantry, yet if you look at-“She grabbed another paper. “This elven text from the same year, you can find a lot of similarities! And both give different perspectives to other texts and it’s-“_

_Cullen laughed again and put his hands up. “Mercy! Please. I am no scholar Ghewen.”_

_She felt her face flush in embarrassment but she laughed anyways. “I’m sorry! I sometimes forget that not everyone has a love for history.”_

_Cullen gave her a soft smile, she felt bad that she could never return that feeling he had in his eyes._

_He cleared his throat. “So are these all related to the veil or the fade?”_

_“Ah, um, no.”_

_He laughed. “You would make a great scholar.”_

_She laughed. “Nah, I guess I’m excited because…” She stopped. **Because I know I’ll find something about his world eventually.**_

_Cullen’s hand patted her shoulder. “I understand. You must miss him.”_

_“So much,” she paused. “He visits me in the Fade.”_

_A flash of anger, but it is gone in a second with a resigned look on his face. “Does it bother you?”_

_“No, no longer. I’ve learnt to just ignore him. I have to focus on my goal.” She said softly, he moved closer and she leaned again his shoulder._

_“Thank you for being my friend Cullen.”_

_“I wouldn’t trade your friendship for anything.”_

_\------_

She had made a discovery that year.

She was sitting despondently at her desk. Papers scattered everywhere.

She remembered that she couldn’t cry, even though she wanted to. She couldn’t feel anything, she was numb. She was scared.

They had found some promising texts months before, it had taken a long time to translate. She managed to locate Morrigan and corresponded with her frequently.

It paid off.

_It is pure theory, but this world adapted to live without the Fade, though much of the world relied on it back then. So much history was lost.  If the veil was removed, and the fade returned, this world should adapt. There would be more mages, spirits, and possibly demons. The current people of Thedas, however, would live. It doesn’t mean people who never had magic, will. It just meant more mages would be born. The chance of possession would actually lessen._

_As far as she could tell, it would remain what it always been. The mage would actually have to allow the demon or spirit into their body. Just as Flemeth allowed a fragmented Mythal into hers. Though there is vague mentions of a spirit changing into a more physical form if they chose to._

_Spirits like Cole. Cole wasn’t a strange spirit, he is what a spirit should be. What they once were able to do._

_The Veil weakened the magic of this world and the spirits of the Fade. It changed who they are. For all they know, spirits were actually more complex than what they are now. They would still have a single purpose, but they had the possibility of becoming more._

_However, they would always be a part of the Fade._

_It made her think of Corypheus, entering the Fade changed him – permanently as far as she can tell. Did anything change with her?_

_Did anything linger?_

_She had Dagna and a group of mages tests her. To see if the anchor was still connected to her in any way. To see if Solas truly saved her from it’s magic._

_She’s going to die. Solas had taken her arm, to prevent her an early death._

_Yet the magic lingers. It left a permanent mark. The magic will always, always return to him, but he didn’t take it. Because it would have killed her. He just removed the main source, so that she would live longer. The anchor is the key to veil – she is the key to the veil._

_It seems like the veil was an untested theory. That Fen’Harel – Solas unleashed prematurely in his anguish – his goal only to trap the Evanuris. Not a part of his world. The texts she found were notes, his notes. She treasured them when that was revealed._

_Now they only remind her that she’ll die. She has done so much, just for this world to survive. For she could survive._

_ In another world… _

_**I am sorry, I am so sorry I won’t see your world.**_

_She had wondered if he knew this. If that is why he left. She concluded he didn’t. If she was going to die, he would have let her die that day at the Eluvian. Because when the veil fell completely, it was going to be painful. It would rip her apart because she is tied to the veil itself now. She knew- she hoped, that he loved her enough to spare her that fate._

_She wishes she never grabbed that damn orb, but she gave the world time._

_But she would die._

_The worst part is that he had begun his mission. She could feel when pieces of the veil were torn. He had found another way, like she hoped. The cost…The first time, she had thought it was just another phantom pain. But with each tear, it would increase. That tall tell green had appeared at the end of her amputated arm._

_Since then it had spread, up to her shoulder. Leliana and Cassandra had expressed their concern, but when she shook her head, they knew._

_It isn’t something that can be fixed. They asked her if she would like to request anything, while she can._

_They had a party. None of her old companions knew why, but they came anyways. She never said nothing about her arm. She needed something happy. Cassandra didn’t attend, and she can understand why. The seeker is too honest of a person. She would never be able to sit there and lie._

_At the end of the night, Cullen had walked her to her quarters._

_“Is something wrong?” He asked._

_“No, why do you ask?”_

_“Well, it’s been nearly two years and you suddenly reunite all of us for a party.”_

_“Are you saying I’m all work and no play?”_

_Cullen coughed. “No, no – I don’t mean to offend-“_

_“Cullen, I’m just teasing you.”_

_“Right, sorry.” Silence. For a moment. “It’s just…it felt like you know something is going to happen.”_

_“Ah, well something is always happening.”_

_A frustrated sigh. They stopped, finally at her door. “I hate it when you’re purposely vague.”_

_“I know.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “Cullen, thank you for being there for me.”_

_He stared at her, before he pulled her into his arms. She leaned into it, wishing that he was the man she loved. A fleeting thought that made her heart hurt. “Why does it feel like you are saying goodbye?”_

_“We **are** at my door.” She said getting a chuckle out of him. “Is it wrong for me to appreciate my friends?” She pulled back and placed her hand on his cheek. “I don’t say it enough. I just needed to let you all know that no matter what happens we’ll always have each other. No matter how far apart we are.”_

_She could see tears in his eyes. He knew, he could feel it, and hear it. Instead of crying, of pushing the subject, he smiled. “Maker, you are trying to make me cry aren’t you?”_

_“What can I say? I’m a sadist.”_

_\---------_

At the start of the third year, she wrote out letters. To her friends, to her advisors, to Cullen, and even one to Solas. Though she threw it out because it wasn’t enough. She wanted to give him something physical, something that would last in the new world.

So she left letting only Leliana know, explaining her reasons. The spymaster understood, in a way. Ghewen would never know for sure, but she could have sworn there were tears in her eyes.

It took months to find the perfect thing, such a simple piece of nature. A tree, she felt dumb for not thinking of it. It was such a…typical elf stereotype. A new hunt began, as silly as it seemed. She put thought into the type of tree she wanted for him.

Birch, no. Maple trees? No. She never thought she’d research trees. Delve into their meanings from different cultures. It was the worst research she has ever done. So boring and so dull and yet…

The one tree that caught her eye was a willow tree. It wasn’t the meaning behind it, nor how it looked. It was that she could see him lying under it, dreaming. Somewhere he can only go somewhere even spirits could linger – keep him company. The shade it provided to protect him from the sun. If she used her magic to grow it out…she could take time to put runes on it – make it a safe place. No one with bad intentions could enter.

She knew a place to plant it, it was secluded, abundant in plant life, the soil was good the last time she was there, and even had a pond. Finding the seed wouldn’t be hard. Traveling there would be.

Hopefully, she’ll plant it in time.

\--------

Ghewen licked her lips, digging a hole into the soil. It is harder, with just one hand. The veil is so thin, soon, soon. She pushed the seed into the dirt. Tears falling out of her eyes.

It hurts so bad. She caught a look at her face in the pond earlier. The mark is all over her, eyes no longer golden – but green.

_I’m scared._

She pushes back the fear and starts pulling the dirt on top of the seed. She pats the ground, hoping this will work. Her magic is stronger, she could feel the world around her ready to bend to her will.

_Please, please work._

She pushed her magic into the ground, she willed the seed to grow.

And it did, she let out sobbing laughter. Elation, hope, pain, happiness, anger, _love_ – she poured all this into the ground, hoping that when he came here. He must feel all that she felt for him-  towards him. That he knew that she left this world loving him. She remembered, their first kiss, the second, the last, everything. She needed him to know she regrets nothing.

The tree grew, its bark becoming rougher and thicker. She pushed it further, so that it would be big and tall – see it. _See me_.

Then _PAIN_. She screamed, magic disrupted. It hurt _so bad_. She felt herself being pulled in all different directions. Her magic is overflowing, the world around her reacting. She forced it in, the pain on her body increasing.

Then it stopped. She spits out blood. She is panting, trying to catch her breath. She’s on the ground and she lays there. She can’t move so she closes her eyes and digs her fingers into the dirt, pushing her magic out once again.

The leaves began to grow; soon she doesn’t feel the sun against her face. She smiles and forces her body to roll onto her back.

The pain seemed dull now, she couldn’t feel much. Yet when she willed her magic to work, it did. She could see the runes carve themselves into the tree. She could _feel_ it carve into the ground. All her intentions for this place coming true.

For a moment, she could feel how easy it is to love this world. How everything felt connected. She lifted her hand into the air, only to find that she could see through it.

She smiled, tears falling from her eyes.

 _Soon_.

She relaxed, enjoying the feel of the earth while she could. Wishing that she could see her clan and her friends for one last time. That she could see him one last time. Feel his arms around her and his lips upon hers.

She never got a chance to give him the most dreaded joke ever. _Ha_.

Something caught her eye, hovering right over her. A spirit no– not a spirit. A spark, a new being born.

“Hello there.” She said softly. It seemed to bounce, she laughed. “You’re excited aren’t you, being new to this world. Able to move freely now.”

She looked at through the leaves, willing them to move. The sky is so beautiful. “You’re lucky.”

It came closer to her, she noticed how she could feel it – she could read it somehow. Like she is connected to it.

She turned her head towards it. “I don’t know if you can understand me.” She licked her lips, but could not feel it. “Whatever shape you take, I just need someone to greet him when he finally sees this place.”

She gasped, her stub moving to curl into her body, but not able to curl around her body. For a moment, she could feel everything, everyone, every thought, she could feel the world.

“I need- I need someone to tell him that I love him. I never stopped, even now.” She managed to say, her body trembling. She swore she felt the earth shake.

The spark ‘ran’ around her in distress. Flashing different colors. She laughed. “I’m fine, I’m okay. It’s okay. It will end soon.” She comforted.

The world looked a lot more colorful now. She closed her eyes. “Ma vhenan, Solas. I wish you were here. In another world, we could have greeted this world together.”

_I hope I did enough. I hope they all survive. I hope he survives. I love him, I lo-_

**_She could feel everything._ **

\---------

Three years, it has been three years.

At first, he bidded his time. He wanted to see if she would oppose him. He spent that year relocating the rest of the elven devices. The only lie he told to her – it never strengthen the veil. It weakened it. It made it safer for spirits to pass through, once having a different purpose. He had deactivated them long ago to prevent the Evanuris from escaping.

He visited her often in her dreams. The first time, she didn’t realize it. She dreamt of the glade he left her in. She was screaming, cursing him, tears falling freely from her face.

He didn’t know a heart could break repeatedly. It was reoccurring, but then she saw him.

Another heartbreak. She begged him to see. She begs him to come back, to find another away, to live with her. She promises happiness, her heart, her whole being.

There were times when she would be cruel, and talk of having a family. She laid out their dreams as if it could happen. Sometimes, he could see the places she described starting to appear in their dreamscape.

He would run, because he could not, **_would not_** let himself see that. It would be all too much.

One day, he walked into her dream. She was too deep into it to notice him.

It was everything he wanted. Her belly swollen with child, another little one sitting with them underneath the trees. He was reading to their child.

He ran. He didn’t return for weeks after that. And when the need to see her finally overwhelmed him, he couldn’t find her.

He panicked. Had she passed on? Who **_killed_** her?

He sent one of his agents out to infiltrate her current base. A week later, she came back with a short report.

“According to the people, she had fallen ill. I had not seen her with my own eyes, but rumor says she is on the road to recovery.”

He thanked the elf, and dismissed her.

It told him all he needed to know. She nearly killed herself. Purposely? No, probably not.

His heart broke again. He was killing her, unintentionally this time. He could see it clearly. She would work and work and work – avoiding sleep, then she wouldn’t eat.

That night, just to make sure, he searched for her in the fade. His mind taking a form of a wolf once again.

He found her, looking like she always does. _This is how she perceives herself; you won’t be able to see the truth here._

He wished to speak to her or her to him. Yet she acted like she didn’t notice his presence. Although the tension in her shoulders told him otherwise.

He accepted that, he deserved it. Night after night, he visited her. Needing the reassurance that she still lived.

That first year passed quickly, he was able to ignore his loneliness.

\--------

The second year, what was left of his people started to question him.

“I wish to give this world a chance, perhaps, with the right steps, they can survive.”

He had received sneers or surprised looks. They accepted his words however; they survived his long in this world. Time is irrelevant.

He began to notice a change in the world. There were whispers of the former Inquisitor teaching blasphemous things. Being friends to spirits, how to approach them, the truth about their nature – it brought a smile to his face. He had disguised himself one day, and had asked one of the people where he could learn. They sneered, pointed him to the College of Magi.

So he went, he ‘learned’ the ways of the Fade. It was as detailed as it could be. This world understands so little but he could tell that she tried. He could close his eyes and see her at her desk, writing notes, researching. She would fall asleep there, before waking moments later to continue her work.

Then he got reports that her agents were searching old ruins, it surprised him. She was reaching out to the world and it provided.

What is she looking for?

That night when he entered her dream, it was different. No longer the glade, this looked like…a training room?

He walked this strange place. Unfamiliar with its structure. It certainly isn’t in Skyhold or her new base.

“You’re going easy on me Cullen.”

His heart stopped, why is she dreaming of the Commander?

“You’re the one who neglected your training for half a year.”

“I _know_! I’m doing the best I can.”

“Are you?” The commander’s voice changed. It sounded rougher, darker.

“I-“

“You can’t do anything,” it said. “You can’t save anybody, you can’t even save yourself.”

“Cullen, why are you- no.” She snarled. “Get out.”

The voice changed, it mimicked his. Anger rose inside him.

“I could give you what you want. I can make you stronger. I can save him, I can save you.”

“This is not your purpose, who twisted you this way.” She screamed. “NO, GET _OUT_.”  He felt the dream ripple. She is waking.

He growled as the demon approached him afterward.

“Isn’t this all your fault anyways?” It asked.

He froze.

“You trapped us here, did you not?” The demons true form revealed, it was terror. “You diluted what we truly are, what we are meant to be.”

He shook his head- this is his domain. He growled, ears back, threatening.

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I’ll leave.” Its long, spidery legs beginning to fade. “Just remember, that you’ll destroy everything, in the end. Even her.”

He was alone.

\------

Near the end of the second year, he started tearing down the veil in pieces.

It took some time, each piece he took, a chance an Evanuris would escape without him noticing. However, he grew stronger and that would help in the end.

He had to be careful; he had try to deal with them. He had an idea, a new prison, one that wouldn’t destroy the world again.

Along with the changes Ghewen made, or tried to, her people would be prepared.

The elven prepared many afraid of going against their former gods. His hand trembled, he was also afraid. He needed to protect her. He couldn’t let her die, not when she’s ensured that she will live through this.

Therefore, he forced his patience. Anytime he got frustrated, he would think of her.

Then the first Evanuris escaped. He had drawn Dirthamen out into a clearing in Tevinter. The battle…he had lost many of his people. Perhaps if he took a page out of Ghewen’s book. Taking a small squad, it seemed more dangerous but she always made it work.

The so-called god was dead, the pieces of his soul trapped into a pocket dimension. One that cannot be open from either side- not without him. It wouldn’t compromise this world at all, he'll burn his notes. The Evanuris will never see this world again.

He continued on because soon he could return to her and hold her in his arms.

He repeated the process, each time an Evanuris escaped – he would take a squad. He isn’t sure how, but it worked. He made it work.

Eventually, there was only one left. He smiled.

She would be so proud. He actually didn’t overthink it for once, over prepare for once. He would see her soon.

 _Soon_.

\------------

The third year was started; a dark feeling lingered on his shoulder.

The Inquisitor, the Herald, _his heart_ has vanished. He tried to visit her in her dreams, yet she would hide from him in her dreamscape.

_Not now, he was so close. Ma vhenan, where are you?_

He took a risk that night; he entered her base – looking for the one person who would know what’s going on.

At least, he hoped she did.

The Spymaster seemingly appeared out of the shadows. Her face carefully blank. “I suppose you’ve heard by now.”

“Where is she, Leliana?” He asked, watching her carefully.

“Gone.”

He nearly snarled, but he settled for a disapproving frown. “Where has she gone? I know she wouldn’t have left without letting you know.”

“I don’t know where she has gone. Just that she wished to find something.”

He frowned, a half-truth – there is more. “You are hiding something.”

“It is none of your concern.” The woman circled him. “You can’t do anything to make me talk. She wouldn’t be very happy with you if you tried.”

He stiffened, trying not to flinch. “I am not that person.”

“Not all of us believed in you as she did.”

Truth. It stung, but he had known this would happen. His eyes followed her. “I need to know.”

“As do I. However, she is a grown woman; she deserves to have time to herself. Without our eyes following her every move.” The spymaster paused in her pacing. She looked at him, scrutinizing.

_Please, I need to know._

“Very well. She was searching for a gift.”

He gave her a blank stare. “A gift.”

“A gift. Something that would survive in the new world.” A frown. “A gift for _you_ , in fact.”

It was hard to hide his happiness. She was truly willing to be with him after all this? After everything he’s done, everything she’s learned…he’s left so many times, he wasn’t sure – he-

_I need to find her, once all this is over, I’ll find her._

He nodded his head and left, not noticing the look of pity the spymaster gave to his back.

\--------

Today, today he would tear down the veil. Once he defeated Elgar’nan, he would search for her.

He couldn’t tear down the veil completely. It would just make the battle that much longer, his enemy that much stronger It had to be enough that the last Evanuris could be lured out. He called out to his magic.

 _Soon_.

\--------

The false-god fell onto his knees.

Solas stood tall, imposing. He prepared his magic.

Elgar’nan laughed. “You act as if you know what you are doing Fen’Harel. Yet, once this is over, you’ll realize how much our people have lost. The weight of what you’ve done.”

Solas pocketed these words for another time. “And have you realized what you’ve done?” He asked coldly, Mythal’s murder playing in his mind.

The false-god laughed. “I am not the one who destroyed our people. Now, do what you need to do. I will spend eternity relishing the fact you’ll suffer.”

These words would have gave him pause, but Solas knew he couldn’t have done anything while trapped in the fade. He separated the Evanuris’s soul from the body and threw it into the pocket dimension.

He could hear the cheers of his men. He smiled confidently and turned to them. “Go, go tell our people. We will have our world soon.”

He waited until they left before looking at the sky. He wondered, briefly, if she was waiting for him.

 He would find her, no matter how long it took.

He closed his eyes, and pulled at the last seam of the Veil.

_\---_

_“Solas?”_

_He glanced at her, looking back at his paperwork. “Yes?”_

_“Do you think the Veil took something from us?”_

_He paused, never suspecting such a question from anyone in this world. “Perhaps, why do you ask?”_

_“Well…the anchor didn’t change me physically or mentally. Yet…every time I enter the fade – I feel…everything.”_

_He left his research and sat next to her. “What do you mean?”_

_“I…can’t explain it. It’s like I can feel both worlds. Like **feel** , it’s like I don’t know…It only happens after I close a rift or…”_

_“Or…?”_

_She shakes her head. “I don’t know. It’s just weird.” She looks up at him and smiles. “It’s nothing to worry about, what I am worried about is how much time you’ve spent here today.”_

_“No.”_

_“Yes,” she grabs his arm and pulls. He doesn’t put up much of a fight. Her hand is warm, soft against his own. “Let’s go outside today, vhenan. We should enjoy Skyhold’s beauty least Corypheus drops a dragon on it.”_

_“You’re taking us to the tavern.”_

_“Yes, I’m taking you to the tavern. We can still behold its beauty! It’ll just be beautifuller once we’re drunk!”_

_\---------_

At last. He closed his eyes and breathed in. He could feel magic just thrumming in the air.

_Ghewen, I hope you are seeing this. That you know I’ll be with you soon._

This dark feeling he had, he knew it would be gone once he saw her. He opened his eyes, watching the clouds shift to reveal the ruins of floating cities.

Once he finds her, they can change the world together. They will rebuild from what he’s returned. They would not rule, just guide – with the help of their friends. Then once their people didn’t need them anymore, they could live out the life they could have.

He turned, walking down the steps of the temple.

 _Soon_.

\--------

Soon turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Months finally turned into a year.

_Where are you?_

He travels endlessly, ignoring the duties he should have made priority. He couldn’t do it, not without her.

He sees memories of her everywhere; she has left an impression on the world. He knew it would be hard to find her this way.

He tried reaching to her through her dreams. He would camp and sleep, out of habit for it wasn’t truly needed anymore. He would search- call out for her.

_Wind whistling, leaves swaying back and forth, the clouds always seem to be gliding on the ground._

The same image, every time. He grew frustrated, worried, and weary. He needed to see her. So he kept traveling, looking for the clearing she sees.

One day, by chance, he saw a floating island high in the sky. It wasn’t unusual, in this world. Yet this one called out to him.

He called to the earth, beckoning it to lead him there. The island stopped, the earth trembled as pieces of the land forced its way off the ground and leading up to the sky. To the island.

To her?

He made it by nightfall, feeling awed by the beauty of the small island. He paused at the last step, inspecting the runes on the ground.

 _‘This…isn’t ancient elvehn_.’ He thought, a rush of hope appearing. “Ghewen.” He whispered, voice hoarse from lack of use.

He took his first step onto the island- finally looking at it, feeling breathless at its beauty. Clouds gliding across its ground, flowers bloomed everywhere – it’s-

The clouds shifted out of the way, his eyes wide.

A large willow tree, larger than he’s ever seen. Its leaves swaying gently with the wind.

He never realized he started running towards it. _Ghewen, I’m here, Ghewen_.

He nearly cried out when he neared and didn’t see her. **_Where_** are you?

He fell to his knees, tired and worried. _Where are you, ma vhenan?_

“Hello,” a familiar voice called to him. He looked up, startled. He should have sensed the spirit here.

He sucked in his breath. It wore her face. It had her voice. “You-“

It placed a hand on his face; he froze as it mimicked her caress. “You are him, her Solas.”

He trembled. His body felt numb, he couldn’t move as the spirit studied him. _Where is she?_ He wanted to ask, yet he didn’t know how. This spirit must have met her, all his dreams lead him here. _Where is she?_

The spirit gave him a sad look. “She is no longer here.” He jerked back from its touch, feeling as if it burned.

“She left, she didn’t-“

“ ** _No_**.” That frown, its her frown. That stubborn look, it is hers. It shouldn’t be wearing her face, it is wrong. The spirit took his hand, like she used to, and ‘pulled’. It couldn’t do that, not really, not unless it took physical form. His legs got up without him realizing it. He followed her – it – her just like he used to.

It pulled him closer to the tree.

In front of the tree is a small mound. The grass around it shaped as -

 _No_.

He didn’t realize he had pulled away, hands clutching his face, bent over the ground.

The spirit hovered, trying to comfort him, trying to talk to him. He could not hear.

_She had prepared, she was supposed to survive. What went wrong? What happened?_

Deep down inside, his mind fit the pieces of the puzzles together.

_He killed her._

Tears streaked down his face and he found himself crawling closer. His hand trembling as he touched the ground.

 _‘Show me.’_ He commanded.

\------

_Soon. Just keep digging- I need to do this. Plant it! Hurry, yes!_

_GROW. I command you to grow!_

_It worked. Yes, thank you._

_Elation, hope, pain, happiness, anger, love – I don’t regret any of it._

_I love you. I love you. Please find me. See it, see me. Remember me._

_Grow, grow for me. Grow big. Grow strong._

_Unbearable pain._

_Soon. I am sorry we can’t live here together. So beautiful, **I feel everything**._

_Leaves parting, I see the sky. I wish I could fly._

_“I need- I need someone to tell him that I love him. I never stopped, even now.” I say, praying that it could understand me. I need it to welcome him, I need him to know._

_“I’m fine, I’m okay. It’s okay. It will end soon.”_

_“Ma vhenan, Solas. I wish you were here. In another world, we could have greeted this world together.” Please find peace and comfort here._

_I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. I tried. It's okay, you'll be okay._

_I hope I did enough. I hope they all survive. I hope he survives. I love him, I lo-_

**_I feel everything._ **

\-------------

He lays on the ground, watching the leaves sway with the wind. The spirit he met, Love, sat beside him. It spoke to him, retelling memories he knows well. Reminding him that her love was so strong, they called out to it. That she was in peace.

It promises to stay with him, telling him that he still had work to do. That she wouldn’t want him to waste away here. It promises to always be here to greet him.

 _“How could I ever leave her here?”_ He had asked.

“ _Because it’ll will always be here. She'll always be here. Just for you_.” It replied.

It did not rush him though, so he closed his eyes and spent his time dreaming.

\-----------

_“…and I felt the whole world change.”_

_“Felt the whole world change?”_

_“It’s a figure of speech.”_

_“I know of the metaphor, I’m more interested in felt.”_

_“You change…everything.”_

_“ **Sweetalker**.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks if you read my garbage :U. I plan on getting both volumes of The World of Thedas. So I won't mess up too badly next time :U. If the codex in the game had a search option I'd use it more.


End file.
